Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign LORD comes escape from death. Psalm 68:19-20
My God Saves
Funny how I have to be reminded of that so often. I wallow. I wallow in guilt and self loathing. That may be a surprise to some of my friends, while others will have seen me do it way too often. I’m not someone who lives with cheap Grace. The kind of person who says, “It doesn’t matter if I do it, the Lord will forgive me”. I don’t say that because I think I’m better than those people. I’m sinning in a different way. I deny the salvation Jesus secured for me on the cross. I don’t know which is worse, but I do know I’m not proud that I do this.
Satan knows how to get to me
Satan likes to remind me daily of the stupid things I’ve done in my past. I let him dredge them up and show them to me like they happened yesterday. These are not sins I have ignored or not acknowledged. These are sins I have confessed and that have been forgiven. I wallow. I hang out in those sins, starting negative self talk that the devil rejoices over. I think and act as if those sins are still with me. Not shedding them and releasing myself from them, but beating myself up as if the work Jesus did was not enough.
Forgiveness is for everyone else
It’s bizarre really. I believe that the Lord forgives all who believe that He died and rose for them. That we are washed clean and are no longer considered sinful after we have confessed and do not continue in that sin. Unless of course you’re mean me. I somehow linger outside of the forgiveness. Obviously I know that’s not true, but that’s the game the Devil tries to play with me. He shows me my sin, not to make me turn from it (as other Christians and the Holy Spirit might), but to make me wallow. To get my focus off the Lord and what He has done for me. He doesn’t want me to have the joy, security and blessing that comes from being a forgiven follower of Jesus – My savior. The one who died and rose again that I might have a place in heaven with Him when I die.
Thank God for other Christians
One of the biggest blessings the Lord has given me is a husband who trusts in the Lord. As I was struggling last night with all sorts of demons, my husband reminded me that Jesus is the answer. To keep my focus on the one who forgives. The one who gives me strength and cares about me more than anyone else. Without the support of other Christians, I would wallow a lot longer. I’m grateful for all the blessings my Lord has given me, and that I have Christians around me who are there to remind me that I am forgiven.
Do you Wallow? Do you know you’re forgiven?