I get it backwards sometimes
For most of my life I have started my day and ended my day with prayers that include, “Lord help me to be a blessing to others”. I know, how noble of me, right. Not so much. It’s not that I don’t want to be a blessing to others, but rather my prayer is that I wouldn’t be a pain in the … you know what. Praying that I may be a blessing was to safeguard against my own stupidity and allow for the miracle that I might be a blessing.
Let those who delight in my righteousness shout for joy
This part of the verse is what made me think of that part of my prayer. I also wanted others to know God, and I knew I was supposed to be a vehicle for that, but I couldn’t see how that would be done. Most of my life any compliments on my character were greeted with me saying something like, “We’ll see how long that will last.” or some such disqualification of my ability to be a blessing.
Shout for joy and be glad and say evermore
So when people would say I had been a blessing or pointed out how I might have helped them, I missed the opportunity to point it back to the Lord. I was sure it was obvious that I was not the amazing one in this scenario, but that any blessing I was came from the Lord. This portion of the verse, the idea that those who I have blessed would be able to shout for joy and be glad because of what the Lord has done through me almost brings me to tears.
“Great is the LORD, who delights in the welfare of his servant!”
Over the past few years, while I’ve been living in Oregon, I have matured a lot (I am almost 40 after all – it’s about time). I have started to accept the fact that the Lord (who is Great) delights in my welfare. He cares about me, and wants me to be a blessing to others, not only for the others, but for myself, that I might be able to give Him the praise and honor and enjoy the closeness that comes with complete Trust in Him.
I’m sure many of my friends know of many of the ways the Lord has provided for us and taken care of our welfare. In Tucson, the Lord provided me with a special friend who would make the early years of parenting survivable. In St. Louis, the Lord provided friends who understood me to the core, the food bank, church, re-sell it shop and a million ways our bills were miraculously covered. Here, we have been blessed beyond all measure, with a home that has no end date. Where relationships, church and home are not transient, but an opportunity to become a part of something bigger and stronger. A place where God’s beautiful creation is a marvel.
The Lord has provided wonderfully for me, but one of the most important ways the Lord took care of my welfare was providing me with amazing parents (and my sister) who loved the Lord above everything else. I don’t think my family was a “Crazy Christian” family, but I will say a lot of conversations included the Lord (and still do). I look back at my journals, and am amazed at how many times I speak about living for the Lord. It makes me want to cry. It warms my heart to be reminded that because of my baptism as an infant, I was able to have an amazing relationship with my Lord my entire life. It is clear to me that He has delighted in the welfare of His servant.
Dear Lord, Help me to be a blessing to others. Amen.