My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. 1 John 2:1-2
Jesus is My Righteousness
I screw up. Quite regularly in fact. I don’t always use kind words when talking to the ones I love (Sorry Don). I have done a lot of things in my life I wish I couldn’t remember. But alas I can. But God doesn’t remember them. He casts my sins as far as the east is from the west.
Living in Guilt
One of my biggest sins is living in guilt. I beat myself up for sins from my past that no one but me remembers. I often remind myself what a loser I am for all of the things I’ve done. This is not the Lord’s way. He doesn’t want me to live in guilt, but to live for Him. Live freed from my sins that my actions might be a blessing to those around me.
Living in Grace
Fortunately for me, the devil doesn’t win this one. Though I spend some time in self loathing, I am reminded by the Holy Spirit, my husband and especially by scriptures like the one from 1 John that my sins have been atoned for by Jesus Christ. I no longer have to live like a slave to sin, but as one freed to live the life Christ has called me to lead.
Unforgivable Sins
Perhaps you feel like you have an unforgivable sin. It’s not true. The Bible tells us he came to redeem everyone. Call on Him for forgiveness and start living the life He wants for you.
It is finished. Your sins and mine (yep all of them) have been washed away. How great is our God!
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign LORD comes escape from death. Psalm 68:19-20
My God Saves
Funny how I have to be reminded of that so often. I wallow. I wallow in guilt and self loathing. That may be a surprise to some of my friends, while others will have seen me do it way too often. I’m not someone who lives with cheap Grace. The kind of person who says, “It doesn’t matter if I do it, the Lord will forgive me”. I don’t say that because I think I’m better than those people. I’m sinning in a different way. I deny the salvation Jesus secured for me on the cross. I don’t know which is worse, but I do know I’m not proud that I do this.
Satan knows how to get to me
Satan likes to remind me daily of the stupid things I’ve done in my past. I let him dredge them up and show them to me like they happened yesterday. These are not sins I have ignored or not acknowledged. These are sins I have confessed and that have been forgiven. I wallow. I hang out in those sins, starting negative self talk that the devil rejoices over. I think and act as if those sins are still with me. Not shedding them and releasing myself from them, but beating myself up as if the work Jesus did was not enough.
Forgiveness is for everyone else
It’s bizarre really. I believe that the Lord forgives all who believe that He died and rose for them. That we are washed clean and are no longer considered sinful after we have confessed and do not continue in that sin. Unless of course you’re mean me. I somehow linger outside of the forgiveness. Obviously I know that’s not true, but that’s the game the Devil tries to play with me. He shows me my sin, not to make me turn from it (as other Christians and the Holy Spirit might), but to make me wallow. To get my focus off the Lord and what He has done for me. He doesn’t want me to have the joy, security and blessing that comes from being a forgiven follower of Jesus – My savior. The one who died and rose again that I might have a place in heaven with Him when I die.
Thank God for other Christians
One of the biggest blessings the Lord has given me is a husband who trusts in the Lord. As I was struggling last night with all sorts of demons, my husband reminded me that Jesus is the answer. To keep my focus on the one who forgives. The one who gives me strength and cares about me more than anyone else. Without the support of other Christians, I would wallow a lot longer. I’m grateful for all the blessings my Lord has given me, and that I have Christians around me who are there to remind me that I am forgiven.
He provides food for those who fear him; he remembers his covenant forever. Psalm 111:5
The Lord is my provider
Throughout my life I have had so much evidence to support this verse. My family has never had much money, but we’ve always had what we need, and more. The Lord has miraculously provided for our family when we didn’t know how you will get the food, money or clothes would come from.
While my husband was in school, there was a resell it shop that sold clothes at such a low price it made Goodwill look expensive. They also had a food bank to help us with the cost of groceries. Throughout my life my parents have made it possible for me and my children to attend Christian schools. Even paying for school (which we’re not done with) came in ways we didn’t expect. Support from our congregations (past and present), contributions from strangers, and having items we could sell that brought exactly the amount we needed for the next payment. Over and over again the Lord has proved that He can handle all that we cannot.
Why don’t I trust the Lord?
Even with all this evidence, I am constantly trying to take control of the situation. Instead of trusting him with the outcome of the situation, I worry and fret over what is the best thing to do, how the money, clothes or item will appear.
He Promises to Provide for us
In Psalm 111, God’s provision for us is well documented. The way He has always been faithful in providing for His people (past, present and future) is clear. So how do I turn myself over to trusting Him more? Last Night at Bible Study, we were discussing this issue as we looked at simplifying our lives (the Bible Study is called “The Beauty of a Simple Life”). One of the things that stuck with me the most is being present in the moment.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34
How often do you live in the moment? I know for me I’m often stuck in the past or worrying about how not to ruin my future. I am not often in the moment. I move quickly through the present, not enjoying the good things nor really experiencing the pain. I panic and stress over what is to come, though when it is actually here it is never as bad as I imagined. No problem though, I’m no longer thinking about that situation when it’s happening, because I’m to busy worrying about the next thing on the horizon.
What does it mean to be in the moment?
I think it means to breathe. I have been working on my speaking skills, and one of the most common constructive criticisms for me is that I need to breathe. What I need to do is take a breath and enjoy the moment. Not rushing through it, but fully experiencing the emotions (good and bad) of the moment. This seems like it would be a miraculous thing if I could do it! I found it interesting that the concept of being in the moment (or increasing flow) was mentioned in an article of 12 things happy people do differently. I’m going to give it a try. I’m going to try to be in the moment, focus on the Lord in that moment. Perhaps my happiness and trust in the Lord will increase, while my worry for things out of my control will decrease.
Do you live in the past? Do you worry about your future? What does God want for you?
Your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors. Psalm 199:24
God is My Counselor
I have a tendency to be lazy. I have a tendency to avoid doing the things that I need to do. When I don’t do certain things, my well-being is compromised.
There are three main things that I need to do to have a positive state of mind:
Be in the word
Exercise
Eat right
I feel the first one is reflected in this Bible verse.
Indeed, your written instructions make me happy. They are my best friends.
(God’s Word Version of Psalm 119:24)
I love this version of Psalm 119:24. Do you know the feeling of wishing you could see your best friend? That’s how I feel when I’ve been neglecting my relationship with the Lord and reading His word. I feel like I’m missing that part of me. The best part of me. I’m only my best me when I’m focused on the Lord, and getting to know Him better.
What more could I learn?
I’ve been a Christian all my life, and it amazes me how God’s word is new each time I read it. How he uses His word to communicate with me in a new way every time. The words aren’t different – God’s promises and his word is always true. I am different every time. I am changed when I read His word. I’m changed by the circumstances of my life. I’m changed by the people the Lord puts in my life, especially the fellow believers he puts in my life.
Being part of a Bible Study
I had gone nearly two years (maybe more) since I had been in a woman’s Bible study on a consistent basis. I know I hadn’t been to one since I had moved to Oregon. It was like I was starving to death. My heart was a mess. I was in a world of loneliness and self loathing. I didn’t know what I was going to do.
Reflecting on the problems and sadness in my life, I took stock of the three things I need in my life, and realized none of them were in balance. Because I was so out of balance spiritually, I was becoming out of balance with the people who matter most to me – my family. Yes I went to church every Sunday. I prayed a lot, but I wasn’t in the word as much as I should have been, and I wasn’t in a close relationship with others where the Word of God was in the middle.
I started attending a women’s Bible study, and it was as if the heavens opened and angels started singing. The Lord had drawn me back into relationship with Him and with my fellow believers.
I am changed by the Word of God
It’s true each time I read the Bible, I am different. I am also different after a Bible study. The Lord is working on my heart, helping me to learn and grow. I know I don’t always get it the first time, but He keeps working on me. I know I am far from perfect, but He delights in me and is pleased when we get time to connect. I love my Lord.
Have you ever felt pulled away from the Lord? How did He draw you back? Is He pulling you closer to Him now?
The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. Psalm 145:8.
I love the praise and worship song that refers to this verse.
All sin and fall sort of the Glory of God – When I was choosing a YouTube video for this song, I noticed that people were compassionately trying to answer the questions that arise from a verse like this. If the Lord is gracious, compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love, why do “good” people and children die or are killed in natural disasters.
This world is sinful. Many people will not agree with me that we are all born sinners, because this earth was tainted when Eve and Adam first sinned. But you need to know that is where I start my position for my beliefs. That we are all sinful and fall short of the Glory of God. (Gen 8:21; Romans 3:23; Ecc 7:20; Romans 3:9)
I don’t deserve compassion – I deserve death
In the Bible we are told that the wages of sin are death.
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23
I am sinful from birth because my mother and father are sinful. It’s like a hereditary disease that started with Adam and Eve. I am always going to fall short without the power of Christ’s sacrifice to pay for my sins. But because of that promise, I know that the Lord wants one thing for me ultimately – to end up with Him in heaven.
So why do bad things happen to good people?
I believe it is because everything on this earth is tainted by sin. That all this entire earth deserves is death and destruction. It is by the grace and mercy (being slow to anger) from God that we live with as much certainty and stability as we do.
So what about the little babies that die?
This is a good question, and one that is not clearly answered in the Bible (it doesn’t say “The babies who die in abortion, miscarriage or before the age of ten will be spared). Yet I trust in the concept that my God is slow to anger and rich in love. Therefore I believe that He will do what is right, and I believe he is going to linger in grace and mercy for those children. I don’t know that this is Biblical, but it is what I believe. This is what I cling to for my unborn child that I miscarried.
God wants us with Him in heaven.
As a I believe that I deserve death for being sinful, I also know that I live in grace. I have not gotten the death and destruction I deserve. In the year 2001 (ten years ago already) my husband went to the Middle East with the Air Force. Last time he was there, he was in the Middle East, I thought I had nearly lost him in a bombing orchestrated by Osama Bin Laden. So I wasn’t thrilled that he was returning, but it was his job and his duty.
So there I was with my twin boys who were two years old. Making a go of it. I worked part-time at a school as an aid in the computer lab, and the boys attended day care during that time. It was such a blessing for me, as I didn’t have a lot of time away from them when my husband was gone, and I was getting worn out.
Then September 11th happened
I’m not trying to compare my pain to the pain of those who lost someone on that day. It was awful. But like the many other Americans reliving it by the minute on the television, I became very sad. I was certain that my husband would not be returning from the Middle East any time soon, because they would be starting a war. My boys may have fed off the strange energy in the house and the tone of the television broadcasts I was watching, but they no longer wanted to sleep. They wouldn’t go to bed before 10 and I wanted to go to sleep at 8 or 9. I was emotionally and physically exhausted.
The Spa can fix anything
During this time, there was a Friday night when I was watching television. I had the sudden thought that I needed to call an ambulance, but I didn’t. I started to assess myself and this urge. I had numbness and tingling down my entire left side. Then I realized I didn’t know what a toilet was called. I knew what you did there, but the word toilet was completely erased from my mind. So what to do? I decided to write an email for work. Yep that’s right – your brain isn’t working – perfect time to write a work email. My friend Kara received that email and mentioned to me that it seemed a bit strange. I had used homophones for many of the words. This was all very concerning. So the next morning I did what any girl would do; I went to the Spa. I had a full spa day planned (as a retreat from the stresses of raising twin 2 year olds on your own – any excuse is viable), and I was sure whatever was going on, a spa day couldn’t hurt.
Turns out it was more serious
After my spa day, my friend Kara and I had plans to go out. We did, but after we did, I called her again and we decided I needed to go to the ER and get checked out. They called the neurologist on call. Within a few months I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I had a hard time for a while, and one day while making lunch for my boys, I got confused between the milk lid and the peanut butter lid. I didn’t know which one went on which container. I was freaking out. I started to sob. I yelled out to God – “What the hell? What am I supposed to do now?” I didn’t get an audible response, but I did suddenly feel reminded that this body is only temporary. I felt as if He reminded me that my eternal body in heaven would not be plagued with this disease. This sinful body is only temporary – my blessings would be in heaven. Then we danced. God and I danced in my kitchen, as I was assured of His everlasting love. He’s the best dancer ever!
Proverbs 3:19-20 – By wisdom the LORD laid the earth’s foundations, by understanding he set the heavens in place by his knowledge the watery depths were divided, and the clouds let drop the dew.
My God is Wise!
Why is it important that my God is Wise? It’s important, becasue if my Lord wasn’t wise, I wouldn’t be able to trust Him. But I can. In this verse from Proverbs, I’m assured of his wisdom in design on the earth, but throughout the Bible, we also see that people are given Wisdom from the Lord. To me that means He has an over abundance of wisdom, and has always been a valid source for gaining more wisdom.
Proverbs 19:21 (NKJV) There are many plans in a man’s heart, Nevertheless the Lord’s counsel; that will stand.
The beauty of the Lord’s wisdom is that we are able to get a glimpse of it through everything in the Bible. I’ve often had the discussion with people about how to know what the right option is in any given situation. What should I do? I don’t claim to know the answer to all problems of the world, but because my Lord is wise, I don’t have to worry. This verse in proverbs says that the Lord’s counsel will stand. So I search the scripture, trust God and go forward full force, leaning on the promise that all things work for the good of those that love Him (Romans 8:28).
How have you seen God’s Wisdom displayed in your life?
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8 (NIV)
God is Love.
That seems like such a simple statement, but it’s not really. Not to me. Loving someone isn’t easy. It takes work. I’m not sure we can fully understand the love our Lord has for us. I feel like it’s something more complex than the philos (brotherly love) I might be referring to when I say “I love you, man”. God’s love is more intimate than the eros (erotic) love I have for my husband. And while I suppose the Agape love (unconditional love) we have for our children may be the closest definition of God’s love, I’m guessing it falls short of all that His love provides.
Unconditional Love
Unconditional love is an amazing thing all on its own. To love someone, no matter what. Even if they fail you by lying or cheating. Your children lie to you (or at least mine lie to me). I believe it’s a condition of their sinful souls. I don’t love them any less because they lie, but I don’t love the lies. I think that’s how God feels about us as well. He loves us despite the sins we commit every day. I set out each day thinking I’m going to get it right. Throughout the day I make mistakes. Not all of them are probably sins, but most probably qualify. I may snap at my boys, a driver in front of me, or get impatient with the store clerk who is taking way too long and keeping me from my quiet time at home with the Lord. (That’s right – I can sin and think about the Lord at the same time – I’m crazy like that). But through it all he knows me, forgives me and delights in me. He is Love.
Being in Love with the Lord
I was the first woman my husband said, “I love you” to (or at least that’s what he told me – don’t correct me if I’m wrong, I prefer to live in my la-la-land). My husband and I work at our relationship everyday, and some days it’s a lot more work than other days. To be in a true relationship, you’re thinking about the other person, communicating with them, and enjoying their quirks and their sense of humor. Over the past few years, I have fallen in love with the Lord. I have had some great conversations with Him. Some of those conversations were painful, frustrating and down right sad. I’m not always happy with my Lord. Sometimes he pushes me out of my comfort zone so far that I get angry. I don’t like being stretched or frustrated by my constant failures as I learn something new. But there are other times…
My God has a sense of humor
Are you laughing at me or with me Lord? As I work at my relationship with the Lord through prayer, Bible study and relationships with the wonderful people I encounter, I see evidence of my God’s sense of humor all around me. Perhaps it’s that he is nudging me to work on my faith and I hear a song that touches exactly the right nerve to motivate me, and then follows that up with a friend who calls and reinforces the idea. The more I time I spend with God in prayer and Bible study, the more I see Him communicating in my everyday life. I don’t want to sound like some sort of goody two shoes who spends all her time reading the Bible and going to Bible study. I love those things, but trust me, the amount of commitment I’m making is so small in comparison to what I could be doing, and yet as I grow closer to Him (by spending more time with Him), the more I laugh at how He shows himself in my life.
Do you think the Lord has a sense of humor? If so – tell me about a time you two shared a laugh. If not – tell me why you don’t think the Lord has a sense of humor.
Psalm 145: 9 – The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all he has made.
“God is Good. All the Time. All the Time, God is Good”
Have you ever heard that? I believe it. As I start this journey to learn more about God by looking at his attributes as described in the Bible, I decided to start here, because this is the attribute I lean on most. I need compassion from my Good God.
I’m not held accountable for my sin.
God displays His compassion and goodness in so many ways in my life, but the one that is most important is that I’m not held completely accountable for my sin. Sure there are earthly consequences for my action, but if I were to be held accountable for being the sinner that I am I would be going to hell when I die. I’m not. Not because of anything I did. Not because I’m a good person (thank goodness – because most days someone I know would probably think I’m not), but because he shows me compassion through His Son Jesus Christ my Savior. Because of His Sacrifice on the cross, I get to go to heaven when I die, and that’s an exciting thing to me.
Placed in a Christian Family
But I find that He is compassionate for me in many other ways. Probably one that’s toward the top of my list is that I come from a Christian family. A family who has spent their whole lives in service to the Lord. Both as church workers and just those who care for others, my family has always had their focus on the Lord. That’s a huge blessing. My core family now, my husband, boys and I are all Christians as well. And perhaps this is where the Lord had a lot of compassion for me.
Given a Christian Husband
When I met my husband, I was a teacher in my church’s school. He wasn’t a Christian, and he wasn’t really going out of his way to learn about God. Because of my extensive knowledge of the kind of men I didn’t want to be with, I spotted the right one right away. I could tell he was different. But he wasn’t a Christian. I had been raised to look for a spouse who shared my beliefs. A man who would want to grow in our relationship together and with the Lord. Don’t let this fool you. This girl wasn’t that bright. I wasn’t going to let this wonderful man out of my sight. Christian or not, I was going to take the plunge.
We started dating, but I was very clear, come Sunday morning, you’ll know where to find me. I’ll be at church. He didn’t want to raise any red flags in my mind, so he said he’d like to join me. Then about two weeks after we started dating my pastor asked Don (my husband) if he would like to take an informational class about what we believe and maybe get baptized at the end of it. I thought, “Here we go, watch this guy run. Doesn’t my pastor know I’ve only been dating him for two weeks?” to my amazement, Don said he would like to go, and did get baptized. The Lord was compassionate and gave me the Christian husband I had desired in my heart even though I didn’t choose a man who started that way.
There are so many ways that God shows His goodness and compassion in my life. What are some of the ways He’s showing them to you?
God is... 